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CEO HATES Valentines Day
Brandon Roger's skit 'CEO HATES Valentines Day' is a three minute skit depicting the CEO, Bryce Tankthrust starting the day by exclaiming that she is 'loaded', throwing off her blanket to reveal her bed is covered in money as she demands for the whereabouts of her breakfast from Donovan, and he throws a large tray at her, likely containing her breakfast. The next clip is of her yelling to the mailman in what was at first pleasantries of 'Morning Mr. Mailman', only to add 'I'm richer than you' as is her typical fashion. She introduces herself by name and states herself as 'One of the most powerful entities in the world' and is the face of a charity who places starving Chinese children into good neighborhoods- in Kenya. When she exits the elevator, clearly talking to someone about a form of removal that a doctor is unwilling to preform she finds Valentines decorations placed up in the lobby and yells at 'Marci', likely a receptionist stating that Bryce believed they agreed to have no Valentines decorations 'this year'. As Bryce is going through the office, tearing down decorations her voice and clips are overlayed as she speaks about how she detests the holiday because it symbolizes the one thing she cannot buy- love. This certainly seems to be the one thing she gets choked up on. She is very clearly angry about how everyone of her workers have valentines inboxes, excluding her, and starts to dump out the contents of the mailboxes, showering the desks and floors in loose candy until she dumps out a type of 'pocket pussy' and then demands 'Who's cellphone is this?'. Cut to her demanding to be 'serviced' in the back of a car by Donovan. It seems as if she may have asked him to be her Valentine, but he rejects her stating that he has a girlfriend. In retaliation she calls him a 'Limp Dick Hippy Queer'. She then propositions a homeless man to be her Valentine's for the day, citing the price it would take. Even though he gives her a negative response Bryce still throws money at the homeless man and decidedly takes him as her Valentine. She parades him around, and in the lobby of her company she proclaims she has a boyfriend, and that he has a 'big dick'. Yet despite how happy she seems when she's on the phone with her mother she says that 'they' don't know how miserable she is. When someone knocks she quickly composes herself and tells the person who knocked that they're fired. To settle some sort of emotional pain she can be seen eating twinkies in the breakroom, then her proclaiming that if she sees one more heart (Valentine Decoration) she's going to 'flip upside down'. When seeing another she does just that on the couch. The next scene seems to be of her riding on a fair ride with the homeless man she paid and proclaiming that he 'grab her tits'. It appears that Donovan takes them through a carwash, yet her window will not roll up, thus getting her wet. She then said that every year on Valentines Day she visits all of her old boyfriends, and it would seem as if each and every single one of them have either died or killed themselves. It's then stated that she has also killed her employees and had them burried in the same area of plots of one another. The next few scenes are of Bryce going around exclaiming how rich she is, as is her typical. It also appears that she may have some medical issues because she seemingly cannot draw a straight line. The date with the homeless man seems to go sour, causing her to call him a 'Limp Dick Hippy Queer', as she had called Donovan, and at some point she seems to have killed him and had sex with his dead body. Even with Bryce proclaiming that this was the 'Worst Valentine's Day Ever', she said that Valentines Day does not get her down, she does have a boyfriend, and she plans to have many more. Subscriber threat: Subscribe to Brandon Rogers... Or you will get NOTHING sexual out of your next carwash. Category:Videos